my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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