I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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