Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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