Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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