I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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