Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
