I want to make a zoo with you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
