you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My liver just had a heart attack.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
