and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
