soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
