I wannas sexs uuuuu
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
