three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize