Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
