i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
