the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
