id be glad to
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize