Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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