ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
