i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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