My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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