I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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