ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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