Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
