She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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