So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
