i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
