He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
