based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
