Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
