shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
