I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
