do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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