He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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