You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
