She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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