When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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