Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Can I color on your dick again?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
