omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
