oh god the rape fog is back!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
