i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
