We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
