WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He better not be in your backpack
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
