dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
