I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
