oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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