This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize