you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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