You're completely useless in the revolution.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
