Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i barfeds in our rink
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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