The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize