Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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