it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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