One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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