With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
