Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
