super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
