Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
