Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
third nipple confirmed
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
