I think i peed on brittanys purse
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
